Some time in early October I suffered from a back injury.
Personally I think it was a combination of things that lead to it (lack of core strength, carrying Charlie around and pushing through the pain while excercising), but when it hit I was devastated.
I had finally gotten into a rhythm, gym three times a week and walking every day with Charlie.
I felt limited in what I could do physically until my back was feeling better. I couldn't go to the gym, I could only do walks which had to be at a much slower pace and shorter. I discovered that I had to listen to my body now.
But what was interesting is that the realisation that I CAN'T exercise made me want to do it even more. What is that all about?
Was I listening to my saboteur again? On several occasions Andrew had to remind me that I wasn't exercising because I had to give my back a break so it would heal. Returning to exercise too soon could do more damage.
Fast forward to today.
I got up at 8:30, Charlie was in a good mood and my in-laws stayed the night. Today was my big return to exercise.
My cloths lay out on the chair, prepared enthusiastically the night before, however as I dressed this morning enthusiasm was completely gone.

I wasn't tired, I had slept well last night. My back wasn't sore. I didn't have to look after Charlie this morning as my in-laws were preparing to take him for a walk while I was at the gym. So I had no excuses.... but here I was contemplating going later, or not at all today.
And finally it dawned on me! My saboteur was at it again!
I had no excuse not to go this morning. But she was talking me out of it before I had even stepped out of bed.
All I could do is repeat: "Push through, you will feel fantastic after you go." and so I went. It was only once I entered through the doors that my inner saboteur stopped wining and complaining.
As I sit and write this, I keep telling my self that I have to remember to push through my feelings of doubt. I have to focus on what is on the other side of the workout.
And you know I left the gym after a 40 min cardio session feeling really good. I felt light on my feet and my mind was racing with ideas for a healthy break to regain my energy. Todays day all of a sudden had possibilities that if I hadn't done the exercise would have been much different.I would have had breakfast and coffee would have turned the TV on and watched (waisted time) would have eaten some more (because it's lunch time, not because I'm hungry), I would have talked my self out of a walk with Charlie (because I'm too tired).
Instead after gym I played and danced with Charlie, I was inspired to cook a healthy lunch and dinner. I then took Charlie for a walk and now I'm sitting at my local cafe writing this post as Charlie sleeps in his pram.
Today was a success!!!!
I am now excited to see what tomorrow will bring.

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