How did I put the weight on and Why?
Well, I eat when I'm bored, stressed, upset, happy and simply because it's in front of me. At social gatherings I'll eat if food is in front of me even if I'm not hungry, just because it's there or free.
I know better! I know how I should eat, I know what exercise I should do, but I always have an excuse:
- "I'll eat this cookie cos it's the last one"
- "I'll eat take away today cos it's too hot to cook"
- "I'll eat chips cos my husband is offering"
- "I won't go for a walk today it's raining"
- "I can't go to the gym now it's too late (3pm) I should have gone int he morning" and so on ....
With everything else being a priority in my life, over the years, I have spent thousands of dollars on diet products such as plans, books, DVDs, equipment, gym & personal trainers. I think giving money on "healthy ventures" made me feel like I was doing something in that direction. But it was only money spent to NOT go (gym) or file the books straight onto the shelf "to read over the weekend when I'm not busy". Well what weekend do we have to do nothing at all, to relax and read weight loss books? I most certainly always had something on.
And so I possess or have tried most advertised weight loss 'things' under the sun
- Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Lite n' easy
- Biggest Looser Online, Michelle Bridges 12WBT
- Treadmill, Rower, bicycle, other weights equipment
- Books & DVDs
It would be fair to say that if spending money on weight loss products would equal weight loss I would be Twiggy three times over by now.
And to add to it all, I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.
That meant that if I didn't follow a plan 110% every day and I didn't get the results I expected I would give up.
Too much pressure you say?
Well all of this "failure" on my part would stress me out and guess what? Yup I'm comfort eating AGAIN.
So today I have decided to wipe the slate clean. Firstly I no longer wish to "loose weight" I want to learn how to live a healthy life. I want to know how to manage my feelings in relation to food, I no longer wish to exclude food because it's 'bad'. I want to eat guilt free and want to be more active and I want to enjoy my life.
I want to be healthy for my baby. I want Charlie to grow up and look at me as an inspiration and example. I want my son to also live a healthy lifestyle and learn that stress is not handled by eating your feelings away rather by going for a run.
So today is the first day of the rest of my life.
Today I commit to live a healthy life, not just loose weight but feel better and change some of my 'bad' habits.
May be some of the plans or products would have worked for me too, they worked for a lot of other people but my mind just wasn't in it.
Vanya
Very good first entry. I think we all do things that makes us feel better for not doing what we are in fact suppose to do and allows us to further procrastinate. I think it's important to be conscious of it and makes it. Self discipline is the hardest thing we will ever have to do but when achieved its like we give ourself the ticket to freedom because we know that u can enjoy some food but be reassured that you are fully in control of this.
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